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Once Upon A Time I Was a Guinea Pig

March 25th, 2008 | writing

man’s back NOTE: This post is part of a group writing project for HighCallingBlogs.com called Lessons from Odd Jobs. Visit our main page to read more Lessons from Odd Jobs.

Once upon a time, I was a guinea pig.

That’s right. In college, I was part of an ergonomic* study to measure the long-term effects of standing. Basically, that means I went to work every night and just stood around for several hours.

Officially, I stood four hours. We couldn’t move our legs. We couldn’t shift our weight. We didn’t walk around. We took no breaks.

Or else the entire shift was a break. It depends on your perspective, I suppose.

Here’s what the average shift looked like.

I arrived to work. The scientists were grad students working on their doctoral theses, so there were several experiments going on at once. One scientist measured the swelling of my leg muscles using an elaborate water displacement system. Another scientist measured changes in the curvature of my spine before and after standing. This guy used an even more elaborate machine that looked like some kind of computerized torture device for experimental chiropractics. A third scientist ran a parallel study to measure the long term effects of typing. Throughout each session, they tested my reflexives by sending electric pulses through electrodes on my legs and arms.

This was my work: standing stiffly in the corner, electrodes dangling from my arms and legs, looking and feeling like a guinea pig.

They built us tables that were chest high, so we had functional desks. Once the typing study finished, there wasn’t much to do except study. My grades at Texas A&M were really good that semester. (By the way, if you’re looking to learn touch typing, try a Mavis Beacon four hours a day for six weeks. You’ll get really good.)

Here’s the surprise. The job turned out to be much, much more difficult than I imagined. Each week, they would change some variable on us. Sometimes we stood on concrete slab. Or linoleum. Or foam pads. Or metal grating. One week they gave us new sole inserts. Dr. Scholl became my hero.

So now for a little theological reflection. What did I learn from this odd little job? It’s pretty simple. Standing around is a lot harder than you might think.

After that experience, I was never able to read about the armor of God in quite the same way. You know the Ephesians passage where Paul develops the elaborate metaphor of faith and war. Buckle up the belt of truth. Put on the breastplate of righteousness. Take up the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit. Put on the shoes of the readiness of the gospel of peace.

Paul says, “Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand” (Eph 6:13).

We prepare to fight, but our goal isn’t the fight. Our goal is to stand firm. Stand firm in the faith. Stand firm in Christ. Stand firm in one spirit. Stand firm in the Lord. Be patient and stand firm.

I used to think standing around was something people did to take a break. I stopped working to stand.

I never realized that standing was its own kind of work. And it’s hard—after I’ve done everything, to stand.

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If you followed the link back at the beginning of this post, you know I’m participating in a blog meme called Lessons from Odd Jobs. (Jacob Share was kind enough to post about the meme at Group Writing Projects.) As part of that meme, I’d love to hear about what odd jobs other people have had. So, if you’re willing, I’d love to hear from the following five people about some weird job they’ve had and what they learned:

*You know ergonomics, right? According to wikipedia, it’s “the applied science of equipment design intended to maximize productivity by reducing operator fatigue and discomfort.” Exciting stuff. And it leads to new inventions like the “ergonomic keyboard that never leaves Weird Al bored” when he’s feeling white and nerdy.


Viewing 15 Comments

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    Very interesting! A guinea pig, huh? So did you happen to be able to read your bible while you were standing around? Blessings to you, and thanks for sharing!
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    • v
    Ah-ha. So this is why you write sci-fi.
    In all seriousness, your reflections on standing firm hit me today (in a place I'd rather them not hit). I started a Bible study at my church. The intention was in this 6-weeks to not only study this particular story (Abraham and Sarah) but to also practice it (namely, the theme of spilling out God's good into the earth). We would together choose a way to fight injustice in our community, particularly by working with a group our church partners with (i.e. a homeless shelter or an orphanage).
    I had high hopes for six weeks.
    Not many people showed up in the beginning. Even fewer committed. But committed we did. We chose a particular organization and contacted them. We're ready! How can we help?
    Um, we don't really need anything right now. Not short-term.
    Oh, well, okay.
    I called someone else. We're ready! How can we help?
    Great. We need help decorating a table and selling tickets for a fund-raising event.
    Decorating tables? How on earth is that fighting oppression?
    Let me fast-forward to the end. Tonight we're having a dinner to "celebrate" the end of the study. And I've been surprised at what God's teaching me.
    Yes, we have to fight to get out of our comfort zones, take a risk, push aside the busyness of life, and work toward social justice. And I will say that I never expected to "fix" anything in six weeks. My hope was that by doing this one project, it could lead to a greater understanding of how we can be involved long-term.
    But God stepped in to teach me some things. These things happened to be best described by what you said above--standing firm. We can't wait to serve God, to make His mark in this world. Most of the time, our intentions are good, our desires are good. The question is, will we stand firm when nothing seems to happen?
    I've talked too much. I'll shut up now.
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    Uncle Dan would be proud of your reference. At least that's what ~I~ thought of. :)
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    What a great story Marcus! I loved your Scriptural application. This is an illustration that I will not soon forget. Thanks for shaing!
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    Well, Mark, I'm up for the task! I'll try to put together something in the next day or so.
    :)
    The interesting thing to me, as you were describing this scenario, is that "standing" also reminds me of "waiting." I've spent so much of my life waiting for what God was going to do next. Waiting to be healed when I was sick. Waiting to get a job when I was unemployed. Waiting for the return of joy when I was depressed.

    And yet, standing, when we truly are standing in the Lord, is the solution to waiting. It's the process of making our faith real, believing God is going to come through, so we stand on His word and wait. It doesn't mean He is going to do exactly what we expect.

    Just that He will never forsake us. Never leave us. No matter what.

    I love your analogy, Mark.

    Blessings,
    Merrie Destefano
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    What a great lesson from a formerly overlooked task - standing!

    I'll never look at leisure time the same again, I'll tell ya!
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    Mark, I would of had to get out of that study as quick as posible.

    Odd job,
    In H.S I sold popsicles for two summers in a former meter-maid vehicle (motorized three wheeler)

    I soon learned that you sell more to poor people than you do the well to do.

    You sell more in the first week of the month than the three remaining weeks combined. Sadly it had to do that welfare checks came out the first of the month

    Also selling to men at construction sites was more profitable than neighborhoods.

    You get a fabulous "farmer's tan"

    You sell more on a sunny moderate Spring Saturday than you do on a hot August day(summer anticipation)

    You sell more in the last hours of the day than during the heat of the day (both parents and most kids are closer to home)

    I should have known then that I should have gone drectly into sales and not spent eight years in accounting
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    Hi Mark - I loved your one sentence on Randy's blog. I had to pop over here & comment on what you left for me:

    There aren’t too many times any more that I come away from an educational experience having learned something completely new.

    (though tempted, I don't dare ditto that, I haven't been around long enough)

    I didn't breathe of word of my quiet disappointment---at least, not intentionally, but perhaps subtley---at the amount of repeated information I got at you-know-where. Classes (plural) meant to advance further afield in a particular topic but seemed to fall back to basic training. Pov. SDT. RUE. ???

    I really wish I'd taken Randy's clinic. Poo. Next time. !

    Hi Merrie! I met you at Randy's table.
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    Hi, Camille!
    Was that the time I was asking Randy to help me with my parallel universe pitch?

    It was good to meet you! And yes, I bet you would really like taking Randy's mentoring clinic. He's a great teacher!
    :)
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    Shalen, I never read my bible while I was standing around. Those were dark times for my faith.

    Heather, you didn't talk too much. I've been there too. Tried to organize with Habitat only to find them completely impossible to work with my schedule. I'm still open to service like that, but mostly I try to serve in ways that are immediately in front of me. (And I try to make sure that I take myself places where there will be opportunities to serve. This blog is one of those places.

    Arly, good to hear from you coz! I still have the book mark Uncle Dan made at the reunion. Where's your blog gone?

    Dan, thanks for stopping by. Your avatar always makes me smile.

    Merrie, I'm so so so glad we met at Mt. Hermon. About the waiting, I go back to Acts. Paul had a really active and bold way of waiting. Trying to get into cities that were closed by the spirit. My goal is always to have God hold me back like he did Paul. Not that I can shake a stick next to Paul, mind you...

    Robert, thanks for stopping by! I loved your 4x4 meme. I'm working on a response now.

    Otto, you should write that up on your blog and enter it in our meme. Seriously. Also, you are a natural at blogging.

    Camille, at conferences I always aim to learn just one new thing from each session. The best sessions teach several new things. Randy opened my eyes to a new way of understanding story and plot. He's a saint in my book. The saint of, um, Physics and Science Fiction.
    • ^
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    Hey, everyone, this is a little test comment to see if cocomment is working now.
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    Marcus,
    I took your advice and posted "What I learned as a Popsicle man" on my blog.
    Thanks
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    Standing! Yikes! I've been told that John Howard Yoder, well-known theologian, always stands, even in his study, which has been built so everything is at standing height.
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    Mark, doing desk work while standing was pretty brutal that first week. I think the study showed that sitting is better for your back in the long run... Far be it from me to question Mr. Yoder's interesting habit, though.
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    Well marcus this reminds me of the other odd job i had that didn't involve spitting, and that i didn't mention because i found it too challenging and hated it - it was standing around similar to you but as a model for studio artists - i couldn't get past 2 hours without about losing my mind - i can certainly relate to your experience

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