Good Words from the Schott’s Almanac

This year, I have enjoyed the best desktop calendar ever. It’s the Schott’s Almanac calendar from Workman. Totally awesome. Here are some fun things I pulled from last month:

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J. R. R. Tolkein

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones - Helena Rubinstein (applies to men as well)

Baby crocodiles are called “crocklets.” Baby sharks are called “cubs.” Baby partridges are called “cheepers.” Who knew?

We have to believe in free will. We’ve got no choice. - Isaac Bashevis Singer

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. - attributed to Bert Leston Taylor.
(Bloggers who do this are boring too.)

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. - Samuel Butler

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. - Carl Sagan

Human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another. - Tom Robbins

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That’s why he makes so many of them. - Abraham Lincoln

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain
(So if I’m not succeeding, should I try, try again? Or resign myself as a fool?)

Success if the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill
(I suppose that approach to work could become foolish at some point as well.)

Headaches can be cured by wearing the rattles from a rattlesnake inside your hat, according to archaic animal lore. Also, dogs pretty much always foretell death–whether they’re digging holes, burying sticks, crossing bridges, or rolling in the grass beneath a window. I’ve got two dogs, so our lives are rich with omens.

Finally, did you know that each apostle has a gem emblem?

Andrew is sapphire.
Bartholomew is carnelian.
James is chalcedony.
James the Less is topaz.
John is emerald.
Matthew is amethyst (also the birth stone for August).
Matthias (after Judas) is chrysolite.
Peter is jasper.
Philip is sardonyx.
Simeon is hyacinth.
Thaddeus is chrysoprase.
Thomas is beryl.

I’ve never heard of half of those gems, and to be honest, I’d forgotten the names of half of those apostles.