Donna Novitsky of Big Tent says her motto is “Go Big or Don’t Go.” But she also offers some interesting advice for working people with families in the Stanford Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders Seminar. (Click on this link to stream or download the one hour podcast, “From Venture Capitalist to Entrepreneur.”)
The moderator says she has a different worklife balance between her business and her career than most people he knows. Then, he asks her to explain to the students how she finds balance between her work and her family (which consists of a husband, two kids, and a cat).
Here’s Novitsky’s response:
Finding balance is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do… When you have kids, everything changes. No longer is it solely your agenda, and they move at their own pace, and you need to adapt yourself to their pace. And so that’s just incredibly challenging because I’m used to being able to put in whatever hours it takes to get the A, whatever hours it takes to get another customer. Whatever hours. And now I can’t do that anymore.
One thing I discovered is that you’ve got to think of balance not in terms of a day or a week or maybe even a month. But balance takes place over a long period of time.
For instance, in 2006, I worked only a couple of days a week, spent a lot of time at home, got involved with the kids’ school, got them to make their beds when they go to school, got them to set the dinner table on a regular basis. Some little goals that I had for our family that take time and focus. Building that base allowed me to go at Big Tent, which is basically a 7 am to 7 pm role.
Between my husband and I, John now pretty much is home… So while I work really hard during the week, I also find some balance on the weekends, and I’m a dedicated world class soccer mom out there with the kids. You learn to juggle. You need to change the equation now and then, but who your life partner is is also a key part of that. And understanding yourself and your priorities is an important thing as you make those choices.
I don’t know Novitsky’s faith. But I think there is some real wisdom in this statement: Balance takes place over a long period of time.
Don’t try to balance your day. Don’t try to schedule your work and your relationships into a legalistic regimen of scheduled activities, duties, and obligations. No one needs another ten commandments of parenting.
After all, the law and the prophets come down to two commands. Love God. Love others. That’s it.
I love Monday mornings because now I can get to work. (Just like I love Monday evenings because then I get to be with my family.)
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That was the statement which stood out to me too… the one about balance over a period of time. Now I need to go apply it to my day (which feels unbalanced, and perhaps that is okay!)
I am definitely a week balancer vs. a day balancer. Some days are all about my kids; other days are about work or house or ministry. With long-term vision, this pattern creates balance. It’s good advice. Some things should be taken one day at a time. Balance is not one of them.
Hey Mark, check out my poetry attempts on my blog.
On topic, I believe we should take the step that’s in front of us.
This article resonates with me. Back when I was working, one of my mentors was a Senior VP (company size 30K+). I asked her how she managed to balance her home (2 young children) and work life. She smiled at me and said, “There’s no such thing as work/life balance.” As popular as that phrase is, I believe she’s right – in that, if you picture each day as a scale, and you have to put equal weights (read: time) on either side (read: work side and non-work side) to be balanced, then you’ll be frustrated and defeated at the end of each day. Her point was the same. Some days you put in more time at work. Other days you put in more time at home. Angela Thomas writes this: “If you’re a praying person who listens to God and looks into the hearts of people around you, obeying the first and second commandments to love God and love others, you’ll know when to skip the day’s entire to-do list and take your kids to the beach, take yourself to the beach, take your Bible to the beach or take your kids and the neighbor’s lonely, autistic son to the beach. If each day is about knowing and loving God, that day’s activities will flow out of a divine common sense.” (emphasis mine).
I’m not much for balancing if balancing is about watching the hours you spend. My sentiments are similar to spaghettiepie’s.
Here’s my rule for not getting “off balance” -
Guard my heart, not my time.
Time spent at home obviously matters…but what’s going on in our heart is much more significant. Are we loving our jobs more than the children God has given to us? Do we value the kingdom of God more than the success in the corporate world? Do we love the Savior more than money?
SP: That is a GREAT quote!
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