Note to drama folks: This skit is free to churches to use and perform and even adapt! If you like it, please let me know in the comments and/or link back. I’d also love to hear a report on how the performance went. It is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. That means you can use it, share it, and even change it, but don’t make any money. And please let folks know I’m the author.
DEVIL GOT YOUR TONGUE
Jonah visits the dentist
by Marcus Goodyear
(DENTIST working over person in chair who grunts and thrashes comically.)
DENTIST: (as he works) Come on, Jonah. I wouldn’t hurt someone from my own church youth group! We went on that dental mission trip together and everything.
Nope. I’m just taking molds of your teeth. Clamp down tight, now. It needs to set for five minutes.
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
DENTIST: I know. It does make you drool. But I won’t tell anyone at church about this. Now don’t swallow or you’ll get the oral cement in your stomach. Can’t have that.
JONAH: (mumbling question indistinctly)
DENTIST: Oh, that’s what the bib is for. Just let the drool pour out. No worries. I’ll be back in five minutes. (exit)
(JONAH rolls his eyes. Shifts in his chair. Starts to drool and wipes it with his hand on the bib. A GIRL from his school walks by with a toothbrush and a big smile. She knows JONAH and drops in.)
GIRL: Jonah? How funny to see you here! I just got my teeth cleaned. And, well, I can see that you’re a little occupied at the moment.
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: (giggling) You sound like that guy in Chemistry who just mumbles all the time. I’m lucky he’s not my lab partner. (shudders a little) Of course, I never got the lab partner I really wanted, Jonah. Did you know that?
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly, but not missing the implication)
GIRL: Ooh. Um. You’ve got something… dribbling out there. (Patient wipes his drool with the bib.) That did it. Geez, what sort of torture are they doing to you?
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: Didn’t catch that.
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: Nope. I can’t understand a word. I guess that’s what I sound like when they’re cleaning my teeth and asking me questions and the vacuum tube is hooked on my check, you know, going SQUUUUUIIIIIRRRK.
All I can do is lean back and listen to the dentist and all his crazy God talk about church and serving others and answered prayer and bible studies. (pause) It’s weird. Not like he’s trying to convert me. I think he just really believes the stuff.
JONAH: (trying to mumble “Me too!â€)
GIRL: I didn’t catch that, Jonah. And you got them problem again. (She motions to her own mouth and JONAH wipes the drool.) That’s better.
So instead of listening to the dentist ramble on about everything Jesus has done for him, I stare at the ceiling. Only now, he’s got all these posters about God! On the ceiling! You know, “God’s not finished with me yet”—and there’s a picture of this wet, knappy kitten. Cute picture if it weren’t for the cheesy God talk.
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: There was one Bible verse that seemed odd. Not the chipper Christian kind. “He was pierced for our transgressions.” It’s funny. All the Christians I know are too perfect to have any transgressions.
(pause) I’m definitely not perfect. (pause) Do you think Christians really believe that “God so loved the world” stuff?
JONAH: (trying to mumble “I do!”)
GIRL: Sometimes it seems like a nice thing to believe, Jonah. Other times it just seems brutal and mean. You’ve seen the Passion, right? What kind of God would do that? It’s sick.
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: Not like you know. You’re not Christian either.
JONAH: (oddly silent)
GIRL: Are you? Is Jonah like a Bible name? It sounds kind of biblish. Did he build the ark?
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: Wait a minute. He’s the whale guy, right?
JONAH: (mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: (thinking) So you’re a Christian?
JONAH: (nodding and mumbling indistinctly)
GIRL: Why don’t you ever talk about it? (flirting) Or maybe you’re just distracted when I’m around.
(leans in to kiss his cheek, then backs away) You’re drooling again.
Hey, you’re dentist is coming. I’d better go.
(as she leaves) Well, I’m glad you’re not like all those crazy-talking Jesus people. They need to be committed… to a crazy house or something.
DENTIST: Time’s up, Jonah. How’d we do?
Discussion ideas:
It’s easy to dismiss Jonah as running away from God. But we are called to deliver God’s message to the world too. How often do we run away?
In the skit Jonah probably didn’t realize the ministry opportunities he was missing everyday. Like most of us, he just compartmentalized his life. Church stuff belonged at church—or at least at events sponsored by the church. After all, Jonah had been on the mission trip with his dentist, so he understood the call to minister to others. The opportunity for ministry is just much bigger than Jonah realizes. So how big is it? Can you minister to others at your school? In your Chemistry class? What does it mean to be a minister? (See John 2:7.)
So what do you think of his friend’s impression of preachy “crazy-talking Jesus people”? How do we talk about Jesus with authenticity—without turning him into some product we’re telling our friends to go buy like he is the latest fad in shoes or something?
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
Comments on this entry are closed.