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CSFF Blog Tour Page One Review - Auralia’s Colors

January 21st, 2008 | CSFF, blogtour, fantasy, page one review

Auralia’s Colors for CSFF blog tour. Several months ago, I began book critiques that I call Page One Reviews.

Here’s the premise: I look at a book as if I’m an acquisitions editor and ask, “What if I got this first page as an unsolicited manuscript? What works? What questions does it raise?”

Today, as part of the CSFF blog tour, I’ll be looking at Jeffrey Overstreet’s fantasy Auralia’s Colors. You may already know Jeffrey from his nonfiction work, Through a Screen Darkly. He also blogs at The Looking Closer Journal, which has the wonderful tagline “the truth must dazzle gradually” from one of my favorite Emily Dickinson poems: Tell All the Truth but Tell It Slant.

First, I created a little present for Becky this weekend. Like the Cat in the Hat, I call them Widget 1 and Widget 2. Anyone who enjoys the CSFF tours (especially participants!) should feel free to grab them for your own site. For now, I grabbed the SpecFaith banner as a logo, but we might want to think about getting our own CSFF logo.

Now, without further ado, here’s page one of Auralia’s Colors thanks to Christianbook.com.

Old Thieves Make a Discovery

Auralia lay still as death, like a discarded doll, in a burgundy tangle of rushes and spineweed on the bank of a bend in the River Throanscall, when she was discovered by an old man who did not know her name.

She bore no scars, no broken bones, just the stain of inkblack soil. Contentedly, she cooed, whispered, and babbled, learning the river’s language, and focused her gaze on the stormy dance of evening sky–roiling purple clouds edged with blood red. The old man surmised she was waiting and listening for whoever, or whatever, had forsaken her there.

Those fevered moments of his discovery burnt into the old man’s memory. In the years that followed, he would hold and turn them in his mind the way an explorer ponders relics he has found in the midst of ruin. But the mystery remained stubbornly opaque. No matter how often he exaggerated the story to impress his fireside listeners–”I dove into that ragin’ river and caught her by the toe!” “I fought off that hungry river wyrm with my picket-staff just in time!”–he found no clue to her origins, no answers to questions of why or how.

The Gatherers, House Abascar, the Expanse–the whole world might have been different had he left her there with riverwater running from her hair. “The River Girl”–that was what the Gatherers came to call her until she grew old enough to set them straight. Without the River Girl, the four houses of the Expanse might have perished in their troubles. But then again, some say that without the River Girl those troubles might never have come at all.

There is a lot to get excited about in this first page. From the beginning this novel presents us with paradox. The first word is the name of a character whose name we quickly told to forget. No one will learn her name for a long time, and until then she is just the “River Girl.”

Thematically and symbolically, the idea of a girl who can speak to rivers is rich. At this point, it seems like a metaphor rather than some kind of actual power, but the concept is just fun. Then of course, there is also the general power of the river as an archetype–a Christian allusion to baptism or even just a Jungian reference to birth and rebirth in the broader sense.

As far as plot goes, the final paragraph takes the image of a mute girl found by an old man and suggests epic consequences. This book will have high stakes. The world will hang in the balance, cif Joseph Campbell.

Finally, I notice the power of the sentences themselves. The first sentence promise the author can dazzle us with some good poetic density. And the other paragraphs assure us that he also knows how to keep the pace moving along. To me, the use of emdashes (five on the first page) suggest a more informal style overall.

What do you notice about the first page? What works here for you? What makes you want to read more?

Click here to see a dynamic list of participants in the CSFF blog tour.

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Viewing 19 Comments

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    I loved the evocative use of color words to describe nature--which, of course, is the only acceptable use of color in Abascar. I loved that it promised (and fulfilled that promise) to be a rare gem: a literary fantasy.
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    valerie, thanks for stopping by. You are absolutely right about this having the stylistic integrity of something more literary. Also, you're fast. I had even finished the post before you commented! (And now I see a horrid layout problem with the excerpt that I must go fix.)
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    The sky on the cover is wonderful.
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    You're right, the opening page is great. You really have to love a story that grabs you on the first page and won't let you go throughout, and Auralia's Colors is certainly that.
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    L.L., are you judging the book by its cover?! I'm kidding, that's actually a great way to judge books in my opinion.

    John, thanks for stopping by! If the book doesn't grab me on the first page, I don't bother reading to the second. And I bet many acquisitions editors don't either. It's a scary thought in some ways, but also just a reminder that each page has at least one primary purpose of getting the reader to keep reading.
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    I read the whole thing and it is one of those rare books that I would read again. I gave it a 10/10 in my review on my blog.

    Superb imagery, and unique story. (and she can talk to people and communicate with nature somewhat)
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    I like the mysterious sense that the first page gave. And Jeffrey Overstreet didn't let up on the mysteries ... some not answered until the very end of the book, and some are never answered at all--and I think this works effectively to drive the reader on to the next book in the series.

    Marcus, I forgot to tell Becky that I was opting in, so even though I'm not on the list of participants, I do have a review on my site. Stop by if you have time!
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    "The Gatherers, House Abascar, the Expanse–the whole world might have been different had he left her there with riverwater running from her hair." The mystery of who these groups are makes me want to read on....
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    I heard about this book on Kindling's Muse and was intrigued. I picked up a copy at a bookstore and skimmed the first chapter. Perhaps because I skimmed, but I felt like I missed something . . . the concepts made me want to like it, but something about the writing failed to draw me in. I'm not expert enough to be able to figure out quite what that is.

    I feel like a Philistine admitting this. But we all (well, all of "us" who know me, anyway) know I tend to be contrary . . .
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    I liked your comments about the novel. Very insightful.
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    I heart heart heart the widget! I hope that you put it up for stealing, as I'm planning on yanking it ASAP! Isn't the banner on the CSFF blog kind of the accepted logo?

    I like the idea of doing a first page review. You did a great job exploring it!
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    What did I like about the first page?

    For me, the writing was so fresh and vivid. I was captivated immediately. It reminded me of the beginning of the movie "Willow."

    And, Mark, I LOVE your widgets! You made those? Yourself? Are you a techno-genius, or something?

    I just have two things to say about your widgets:
    1. I wish I knew how to make something like that.
    2. I wish that whenever I get a novel published, somebody decides to be that creative and nice and will make me a wonderful present like that.
    :)

    Great job, Mark. Five stars!!
    Blessings,
    Merrie Destefano
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    Dear Mark,
    I am not an editor and do not look at first pages and paragraphs of a book as I begin reading. However, I believe a reader takes note of these as an internal 'feeling', rather like the difference between an intuitive and logical mind. Your logical editor's mind takes in the individual elements that make us intuitive minds keep reading.
    The first page had me hooked immediately and the author engaged my poet's mind with words and phrases indicative of magic to come.
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    Sometimes I judge a book by the cover but more often I look at the cover synopsis, any reviews I can rustle up from other readers, excerpts and whatever else I can find before I even open the book. I will sometimes page through a book in the store and read a bit before buying too but only if I have gotten intrigued already by the cover, synopsis or other things about the book and want to know is this something I could read. I have however put books down after a chapter or two and abandoned them at that if I am not into it.

    The lead in and subsequent pages as someone on this post said are key to keeping a reader interested. If a writer doesn't draw you in and hold you they will likely lose readers however any reader's taste is subjective so not all books are going to grab or draw everyone even when they are well-written.
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    Great post. I really love that first bit. The introduction to world and character is captivating and mystical. I would read more as an editor for sure. :D I can't wait to get my hands on the rest as a reader.
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    Eve, it's always good to hear from you--especially with such a wonderful book recommendation.

    Robert, I was really intrigued by your comment about the lack of villains in your review post. Also, I'll add you to the feed.

    kim, it's always good to hear from you! I liked that sentence too. It reminded me of Dune and the House Atreides, something Robert picked up on as well in his review.

    Jenn, I wouldn't worry about it. There's no accounting for taste you know? And the literary nature of this book almost means it is less engaging. More artifice, less suspension of disbelief. I've heard other people say the same thing about Gene Wolfe, one of my favorite writers. But he's more Melville than Michael Crichton.

    Mike, thanks! I'm glad you stopped by. Do you have a blog?

    Kait, I'm so glad you liked the widget. By all means borrow away. That's the whole point--and the advantage of widgetbox over googles built in widgets. I'm looking into clearspring widgets as well--but they are so powerful that I left the site a bit confused.

    Merrie, it is really quite simple to make a widget, it just takes a long time to load the RSS feeds into a reader. I saw Willow on the video rental shelf this past week and wondered when my kids would be ready for it. When you get published, I'll be more than happy to share all of my techno-genius with you. It will only take about two minutes.

    Donna, I agree completely about a reader's intuition accomplishing reinforcing the logic of good editing. That's the difficulty of editing, though. Not getting so caught up in fancy logic that I forget to look at the piece intuitively as well. The sum is definitely greater than the parts with literature. I'm glad to hear you have a poet's mind! I wish more people did...

    ForstRose, cool screen name. I applaud you for putting books down if you don't like them! It took me years before I was willing to give myself permission to do that. And you are absolutely right about the variety of readers' tastes. Which raises the big question of literary criticism. What makes a book good? Do we call Harry Potter a good book because it captures the world's imagination? Do we call Bleakhouse a good book because English professors assign it? (The answer to that last one is a resounding NO, by the way.)

    And whoa. This comment is out of control.
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    There's something 'bout the first page, and reviews of this book...
    that's all I've read of it, by the way, the first page, and reviews. It draws me in. It makes me really want to read it.
    The only thing that's stopping me from pulling this book off my shelf (('cause yes, I did go out and get it today)) ish the fact that I'm 2/3 of the way done with another book that I really want to see how it turns out, and I've got Patrimony on my shelf, which I've been waiting to read for months.

    But Auralia's Colors will definately be read right after I finish those two. I'm very intrigued.
    And it reminds me, in a good way, of the first chapter of another book that I read ((which I still need to finish))
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    I think just because intellectuals or "scholars" name something a classic or good writing doesn't make it so. Sometimes they are right on to my tastes and other times they are not. Sometimes I can say what makes a book work or not work for me and other times it's merely a sense I have that this isn't my thing. Oh and I've been there with the not giving up on a book. It's only been in the last few years that I've managed to realize that my time and energy is more valuable than slogging through something that puts me to sleep in a few pages or when my mind is wandering to other things instead of focusing on the book.

    I'm not sure I'd say that books like Harry Potter are worthy of the moniker good simply because they are popular either. That would be to me like saying I'll go bungee jump because everyone else is. I dislike the "mob" mentality of its ok because everyone else likes it or because an "authority" on the subject says go for it like all those books they made me read in school. Some had their redeeming qualities but most of them I was just grateful to be through with and move on to something else.

    Thank you about the screenname - it actually was one of those OK so what do I use online that is uniquely me and won't be already taken. I actually compounded portions of my favorite color names together it is the blend of Forest Green and Dusty Rose which has played into Forest without the e and Rose. Much easier to create profiles online than with my real name as there are an amazing number of people that share that name I even had classmates in school at times with the same first name.

    As for criticism I never claimed to be a critic, reviewer yes and that is what I call my blog posts on books (reviews). Perhaps there are some literary critics out there who are truly that but I think it is really just some people's way of making reviewing sound more upper crust. Even "criticism" is difficult if not impossible to remain 100% objective as humans just aren't and our tastes filter into what we say and do and choose.

    Melissa (my real name btw)
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    Oh and for me Auralia happens to be a winner though seeing all the tour posts like any book some love it, some have problems with it and others are not particularly impressed or turned off by it.

    Melissa

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