All Your Barns Are Belong to Us

July 2nd, 2008 | publishing

Randy Ingermanson just posted a hilarious article called Three Reasons to Ban All Non-Amish Novels that does a great job of listing some of the quirks of the Christian publishing world–in particular the cussing problem. Randy says, CBA limits authors to “tofu cuss-words that make them sound like that gosh-darned Miss Marple.”

Heh heh heh.

One question, though, Randy. If I were Lassie and Timmy told me to save him because he’d fallen down in “gzbr wll” again, I’d have a problem. I’d have absolutely no clue what “gzbr” meant. Geezburr? Jeezbeer?

And I’d be a dog. Reading a text message.

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B. Currant 3 months ago 1 point
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Quite amusing. Now, I thought dogs COULD read text messages. You're making me doubt the universe.

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Robert Hruzek 3 months ago 1 point
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Hey, at least as a dog you can still look forward to... dog food - again!

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Marcus 3 months ago 1 point
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The real issue is whether dogs can twitter.

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real live preacher 3 months ago 1 point
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Ha, very funny stuff. Too bad he felt he needed to explain the "All your barn are belong to us" quote. I feel, as a geek, that you never explain that one. Just let the insiders chuckle.

There's a cussing problem for Christian writers? I must not have gotten the memo. No WONDER my book was such a gigantic gzbr failure!

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Sam 3 months ago 1 point
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Mark,
I'd written a comment here but it did not post. It was basically asking the question (may have asked before) should we be Christian writers or writers who are Christians? Do we limit our output to Christian publications or publish where we earn the most (if we're doing this to support our families) and can have the widest circulation?
Just a few questions the blog entry made me think of while laughing.
-Sam

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L.L. Barkat 3 months ago 1 point
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RLP, that was funny.

And, btw, your book was not a failure in my house. I love it. I tend to read it when I'm feeling down. Or when I want to hear a real voice.

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Randy Ingermanson 3 months ago 1 point
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Randy sez: By the way, it was my editor who felt the need to explain "All Your Barn Are Belong To Us." That wasn't in my original article.

One of my loyal blog readers claims that some Amish do use cell phones on the grounds that "they don't use electricity." I am of course shocked, shocked. Not that the Amish would use cell phones, but that they would lie to themselves about electricity. Um, what else would they use? Strings? The power of self-deception is alive and well among those pesky Amish. This should be grist for another column.

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real live preacher 3 months ago 1 point
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Randy, you have my sympathy. Editors! Took a great line and ruined it. Typical editor way of....

oh...

sorry Marcus. Present company excluded of course.

;-)

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L.L. Barkat 3 months ago 1 point
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RLP, that was funny too.

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